Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Wish Lust - Unbreakable Umbrella

Here's something that crossed my screen today that really caught my eye. That's a horrible in-joke for those that know me, as I would rather be wet than use an umbrella in most instances. As a tall person I find that the most contact I tend to have with umbrellas is when less-than-me-sized people in the rain poke me in the face with them. I see them scurrying around in the weather, clutching their portable roofs whilst I stick it out in my long coats and hats or hoods. I see the discarded remnants after Melbourne's squally winds turn them inside out or bend them. I see their bent and broken discarded husks in bins, benches, left under tram train seats. More evidence of their blight on humanity. I mean, you couldn't even hit someone with them without it buckling into an embarrassing cartoonesque silhouette of their face.

That was, until I saw the webpage for the Unbreakable walking-stick umbrella by Real Self-Defense. These things are bad-ass! First up, in one of the test videos a large manly man balances one between two chairs and climbs up, has a bounce on it then opens it up again. That's some Cold Steel level of proof right there ...

Don't just take it from me though, have a look at at this video I found on their site. This is some pretty heavy treatment for something to keep the water off with. A nice steel tip would make for a good walking stick strut, as well as a mess in the face of anyone it were jabbed at I expect.

 The  umbrellas come in three variants, two "Premium" models in traditional crooked or wooden knobbed or the lighter, longer rubber handled "New" variant. For my money, I'd actually choose the straight  "New" version, as its closer to what I am used to wielding in a shinai for kendo. That is, if i were going to be waving it around, or any such crazyness.

Premium #1
Handle: crooked wide, made of ABS (composite). Steel ribs.
Length 35 in/889 mm, open diameter 43 in/1092 mm, weight 1 lb. 13 oz./822 g.

Premium #2
Handle: straight with knob, made of wood. Steel ribs.
Length 33.37 in/847 mm,open diameter 43 in/1092 mm, weight 1 lb. 8.8 oz./703 g.

Handle: straight, rubber-covered. Fiberglass ribs.
Length 38.5 in/978 mm, open diameter 47 in/1194 mm, weight 1 lb. 8.6 oz./700 g

 The website declares that bashing these umbrellas on things will likely damage the waterproof material that is the umbrellas ultimate purpose, which is sensible enough advice. If I were planning to engage in the regular beating of things with something, I would prefer to use something purpose built to do so, like a bokken or a mallet. That said, when it comes to including something around in my EDC that wont draw a spot of attention, a ruggedized, weaponsised umbrella migh be just the ticket.

Definitely on my wish-lust list, because in Melbourne, as the song says, you can get "four seasons in one day" and I like to be prepared!

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