Review: Appalling Mall-Minja wall hangers!

Originally posted as part of Breach Bang Clear's ongoing Monday Night Knife Fights series.   

I talk about good knives, swords and axes a fair bit. I'm fan of dense steel with an edge. There's a lot of it out there, some good, some amazing, and some unspeakable trash. It's the latter stuff I want to discuss for a bit.
Lets talk Mall-Ninja wall-hangers. First you might ask, what's a mall-ninja?
A mall ninja is a breed of weapons and combat enthusiast characterized by being so ungrounded in reality as to make even the most hardcore gun nuts shake their heads. Equal parts naïveté, delusion, and obnoxiousness, the mall ninja contributes to countless ill-informed online debates concerning arms, armor, and warfare, and is a common consumer of assorted paramilitary woo, broscience, and shared misconceptions about history and the world. The term "mall ninja" is pejorative; no one self-identifies as such. We hope.
If you're worried there's a simple test you can take to assess your-mall-ninja status.   Good luck.
Now, if you're an avid Master Ken of "Enter the Dojo" disciple, you've probably had all the training and experience you'd need to make your own correct choices when purchasing your own pointies.
When it comes to some real Mall-Ninja wall hanger blade there are some key aspects that seal the classification:

1. Black. Real Ninja's need black weapons for their Tier One Wet Ops. Powder coated, painted, teflon coated, oxidised, it doesn't matter.
2. Cord-wrapped handle. Every real street-samurai wants their blade wrapped samurai style, and that means cord-wrapped.
3. Curves. Like every bad-lady out there it has a curves and every mall-ninja want's a bad lady of their very own.
4. More curves. See Above, but unnecessary curves are even better.
5. Extra cutting surfaces. Primary edges aren't very high speed-low drag. For true body-dropping power, you need blades on all faces.
6. Unnecessary serrations.   It's not a sharks mouth, buddy, its a knife. You need a chainsaw, get a Husky!
7. Tactical sheath. Drop-leg, back-scabbard or just "ballistic nylon".
8. A scary name. "No one would surrender to the Dread Pirate Westley."Add a few "NINJA, ZOMBIE or DEATHs in there for good measure.

However; there's a lot of shiny bling out there. Here's a quick guide to some examples.

A - Zombie ass kicker. This is a bad-assed blade, but a serious wall-hanger. Extra serrations, extra edges to catch and snag, it's styled after the Aztec war swords to look extra scary. Ribbon-wrapped rather than cord, and a pretty thin, light steel. I don't have much faith in it's utility.
B - Living dead apocalypse full tang ninja sword.  Twin blades are better than one, obviously. Extra curves and serrations along the non-striking edge of the blade, as well as holes cut into the blade to lighten it, adding weakness.
C -"Hunting Knife." Perhaps if you're the Predator tracking Dutch and the other Rescue Team members.. This no-name piece  actually performs pretty well, regardless of its extra curves, useless serrated spine and extra holes. Its "full-tang, one-piece construction" is quite sturdy and the cord wrap handle well done. It's pretty well balanced, well finished, and were not for the extra holes and the saw on the spine, it might not even qualify as a Wall-hanger for Mall-Ninja's were it not for the dual shoulder strap back-holster  and the extra holes.
D - Black legion undead machete. Scary name, and wicked post-apocalyptic hammer finish. Now just add to the list the impressive looking spiked knuckle-guard, the "zombie-green' cord wrap and the drop-leg sheath and you've a "take-em-all-out before they getcha"special to scare mom with if she ever busts in on you practicing kata in the basement. water-bottles and melons of the world beware. To be fair, the blade appears to be well made, but the fitting are a tad flimsy for my tastes.
E - Z-hunter-axe. Not really an axe. Not really a hunting knife. Unnecessary saw-back serrations, extra curves and hooked edges. Great cord-wrapping and a single piece of steel for resilience, with sick jolly roger logo for extra-scary pirate aesthetic. Maybe if you're going from to room on a beached Somali cargo ship? I have a feeling it wouldn't  serve too well dressing a water-buffalo either. But zombies? narp.
F -KA-BAR War sword On first glance, this one looks like a prime candidate for Mall-Ninja wall-hanging.   It's got some curve to it, a lurid green scale grip, for extra zombie killing power, and a fully decked out nylon thigh sheath. However, its a serious work horse of a knife, but the scary name, and green scale gives them the potential for Mall-Ninja wall hanging.
G - Ontario Black Wind. Not every Mall-ninja wants a blingtastic katana straight out of Highlander or Blade. Some might prefer a more-or-less traditional "ninja-to style" short, straight and heavy sword, which is exactly the kind of blade that the Ontario Knife Co. put into Army Disposals and into the pages of martial arts catalogues. This is a bad-ass blade, undeserving of any scorn, and is in fact one of my go-to blades in the event of Apocalypse or civil unrest.  Even with its high-speed looking kydex scabbard,  just too good to be a wall-hanger.
H -Cold Steel Gladius. Last up from my own collection is the hungry-for blood Gladius from Cold Steel. Now, even the mighty Roman armies had their own groupies and  modern-day hangers on, thanks to a steady stream of "sand and sandals" action pictures. The humble Roman ground-pounder was issued one of these Gaul-stickers and bade go forth and pacify the Empire. The modern version hanging on my wall would have been a high-tech marvel of construction but fit in nicely in the shield-wall. I don't recommend trying to take that angle when trying to explain why you have one lashed to your hip with your Company First Sergeant, but, if you wanted a big ass blade for defending the empire "outside the wire" you could do a lot worse than one of these.



Lets take a moment to talk thickness. Cheap blades are often cut or pressed  from sheets of thin steel. This doesn't offer much cutting mass, strength or rigidity, all things I would want in a fighting blade. Different steels have different densities so its hard to gauge what steel is in the kick-ass zombie slayer you found at the disposal store, but the thickness of the blade can be a good indicator. I've found the thinner the blade, the less likely to be a practical tool (unless you're cutting sushi or shaving).



So. My last bit of advice to prospective blade collectors: Buy quality. It needn't be expensive, but should be from a reputable maker, be it a big company or a small smith. Be sure to give your new-found tool a run through its paces, before staking your life on it, (and get some formal training if possible). Don't be a mall-ninja.

Brain Injury and the Apocalypse Eqipped

So, I haven't been posting much recently, mostly due to medical problems i've had. here's the breakdown; Health update: i'm doing really well, recovering my faculties and abilities at a good pace....

as first seen on Breach Bang & Clear. thanks to he guys for sticking by me!

I woke around 4am on 21/11/2016, thirsty, unsurprising as I had run the Tough Mudder the day before that (my fifth time), and been out in the heat that day,  and whilst I had studiously hydrated before, during and after, I had also had a rather heated hero's welcome before hitting the pillow that that evening. Choking on my bed-side water, my partner Lorin woke up, and took my bottle away. I objected  somewhat incoherently. That was a warning sign. Lorin was immediately worried, and asked me to smile, and raise my hands and I didn't do too well. She called my other partner Omega in and I flubbed the "raise your hands and smile" test" for her too. They suspected I was having a stroke and called an ambulance. I was collected shortly afterwards and zipped off to the local hospital. I managed to request pants so had some Thai fisherman pants on for the simulation of dignity.

They apparently sedated me, or I passed out, because I woke up the next day (I think) to find that I had indeed had a stroke, determined by an MRI and CT scans that I had no memory of.

It turns out I had had a middle cerebral arterial  rupture, and blockage, caused by a 3cm clot (that a surgeon removed via CT-guided Angioplasty). They did the procedure through my femoral artery, which left a bit of a hole in my thigh. The clot had caused a infarct (blockage) and subsequent rupture  (dissection) of my middle cerebral artery.  This in turn lead to a frontal lobe oedema and mild mass effect, sparing the motor cortex.

I was also put on a heavy regime of "clotbuster" drugs, and on oxygen for a day or so... It was noted that I had left-side Hemiplagia (partial paralysis) and dysarthria (slurred speech).

When my surgeon came to check on me I managed to give them my name and date of birth (something I was asked often) and raise hands and feet on my own which I was able to do to his amazement. It turns out that I had been very lucky in the timing of my medical attention. an hour so later and the clot-buster drugs  may not have had the useful effect, and the surgery mightn't have been performed by Mechanical thrombectomy using a MERCI Retriever L5. its a roto-rooter for blood clots!

Removal of the clot may be attempted in those where it occurs within a large blood vessel and may be an option for those who either are not eligible for or do not improve with intravenous thrombolytics. Significant complications occur in about 7%

The clot-buster meds brought up all my post-Tough Mudder bruises something fierce. The nursing and other medical staff were all horrified by it, but believed me when I told them I wasn't an underground pit fighter or something. They also grilled me about my lifestyle, and took lots of bloods. I have a pretty good diet, my cholesterol levels are well in the green, I'm fit, strong and active.  To my recollection , I sustained no head injuries on the Tough Mudder course. Stroke cause; stress and exertions.

I barely drink, have never smoked, or partake in recreational drugs. Apparently "really fit 40 year-olds" and older, overweight smokers are who they usually see. I'm apparently in the first category.

I was partially paralysed for a little while, but hardly remember that, but was frequently examined and tested wiht the 'squeeze my fingers and "lift your feet' tests as well as the more tedious "whats your name?" and "date of birth?" and "do you know where you are?", "what happened to you?" and "what day it is?" tests. Given the nature of my condition, and the unknown amount of brain damage I sustained by both the lack-of-blood to the brain, and the squeezing effect of a cerebral bleed.

They put me on a whole week of strict bed-rest. I was listed a "falls risk" and hey put a "getting up alarm" in my bed. great idea, but there was NO way I was going to get up and risk falling and smashing my brain. This meant a few things: If i moved too much in bed, a buzzer would sound, 24/7 and shortly after a Stroke Unit Nurse would how up an check that I wasn't making a run for it.  They would also ask the "whats your name, where are you and what day is it?" so I generally tried to stay still.  A side effect of this is that I was put on an additional regime of intra-abdominal klexane injections 

to stave off  further clots from inactivity. These caused a lurid pattern of bruises on my belly! like paintball welts, without the fame, glory or fun.

Another aspect of this was that when i needed to pee, as I wasn't catheterized (thankfully) was that I needed to pee into a pee-bottle such as the one to the left modeled by Lorin. A lifetime of of "don't wet the bed or pee in your wetsuit" reflexes had to be overcome. Speaking of, I also had to learn to use a bed-pan, for pooping in, which Lorin also helped me out with, with the wiping.
Again, Dignity. It has to wait sometimes.


I had another round of CT scans, and they determined that I wasn't in much risk of further brain bleeds, and could stand some standing, so they got me up and out of bed, under some serious supervision. After proving I could stand and move from foot to foot, and balance on each foot without falling over, I was cleared to use the wheelchair to go to the bathroom on my own. I wheeled myself there, moved from chair to toilet on my own, and managed to use the facilities all on my own.

Classically, a stroke is when poor blood flow to the brain results in cell death. There are two main types of stroke: ischemic, due to lack of blood flow, and hemorrhagic, due to bleeding. They result in part of the brain not functioning properly.[1] Signs and symptoms of a stroke may include an inability to move or feel on one side of the body, problems understanding or speaking, feeling like the world is spinning, or loss of vision to one side.[2][3] Signs and symptoms often appear soon after the stroke has occurred.
If symptoms last less than one or two hours it is known as a transient ischemic attack (TIA) or mini-stroke.[3]

 A hemorrhagic stroke may also be associated with a severe headache.[3] The symptoms of a stroke can be permanent. Long-term complications may include pneumonia or loss of bladder control. I was fortunate not to acquire the headaches. I had weakness in my hands and a bit wobbly, and some slack in my face that made me slur a little, but I appeared not to have lost any of my faculties.  I was cautiously walking by the third week in hospital, and able to not only go the bathroom by my self but also bathe, with the use of a shower-chair by myself, though  I had very enjoyable supervision from Lorin... who also washed my hair and reminded me to scrub my pits and brush my teeth!

It was in the Second week of my stay that I was taken off 'mushy-food and thick liquids. I had been seen as a choking risk, and no-one want's aspiration pneumonia from inhaling hospital mush. The xanthan gum thickened water and juice were strange, and most people would find it off-putting, but I remembered similar drinks at Houston Space Center, growing up.  Astronaut drinks for me! I was spared too much hospital pap by my loving, supportive family, who took food orders, and snuck me in BBQ ribs, burgers and even Nando's picknic's  to the formally-frowning and informally pleased nods of the nursing staff. Even though, I was ravenous. AND ate both my hospital meals AND whatever extra snacks came my way. And even on bed-rest for three weeks I infact LOST 15-20 kg. Brain injury recovery is hungry business, yo. All totally normal. Being on bed-rest also meant I was getting  intra-abdominal klexane injection is my belly at lunchtime every day. Not overly painful , but bruised me and made me ache.


So, one of the most worrying parts in all of this was the question of 'just how damaged WAS my brain going to be?" Early on we determined that I had -most- of my brain function still. My fine motor skills were a touch laggy, but my memory, both short and long term seemed to be fine, as was speach, and cognition. Whilst bed-ridden,  I was able and very happy to recieve and build a bunch of LEGO sets that I was brought in by Lorin and Omega at
first, and then by other people who came in, having heard I was taking visitors and building LEGO. Not only was it a blast from childhood, but also good for fine motor skills, cognition but also spatial awareness. One thing it alerted my eagle -eyed Occupational Therapists to was a thing they call "perseveration" where when faced with a "wrong-but-close" situation such as "brick in wrong spot" I now have a tendancy to just keep doing the wrong thing, in the hope it will just come good. This same effect has made me mis-type passwords till I lock accounts too. Now I am aware of it, I can be on the look out for this behavior and apply 'if at first you don't succeed" logic to the problem. Omega and Lorin are on the watch for it so, so I don't keep bumping into wall like a broken robot for hours ...

After the first two weeks, and a re-checking of my brain via a trip in the magic CT-donut, I was shipped of to a rehab hospital, via an amusing "patient transfer ambulance ride" in a wheelchair van. My new accommodation was not nearly as nice as my private room in the stroke ward as I was sharing a bunch of other dudes, who snored and argued with the nursing staff about their meds at all hours.  I was also still getting my "obs" done every couple of hours, blood pressure, pulse and "name, DOB and where are you?" neuro checks. 

Being at the rehab hospital also meant trips to the gym, for supervised physiotherapy. This consisted of time on the elliptical machine to warm up, then a 3kg dumbell routine, and ankle weights routine. They also had me do a balance course, on parallel bars, with uneven ground underneath whilst balancing tennis balls on my hands. It turns out that having a stroke hasn't magically improved my balance any but my reflexes sem to be ok still.


The Neuro-psychology team got their hands on me, pre-dicharge and ran an extensive set of IQ tests and the like on me to see how much damage to my brain meats had been done when the clot and burst artery starved me of bloodflow. I was curious how they would assess my "before incident" ability, but apparently the tests were sophisticated enough to give a baseline. Of the seven areas being assessed: General intellectual ability, general knowledge and verbal abstract reasoning, non-verbal fluid reasoning, constructional problem solving, spatial planing and arithmetical reasoning.  I had been baselined as "likely superior" in all areas "before" at the time of assessment was found to be "average" in most and falling withing the "low average range"in arithmetical reasoning.

So, it seems that at the time of assessment i've had some damage, and don't math so well. I'll be re-assessed as part of my "return to work preparation" and the hope is that in the meantime, my brain will be-self-repairing and i'll recover a lot of my "superior status" in time. I've been doing more LEGO, to build up my spatial planning and fine manual dexterity and problem solving skills sets.

In addition to neurological impairment, hemorrhagic strokes usually cause specific symptoms (for instance, subarachnoid hemorrhage classically causes a severe headache known as a thunderclap headache). I've been very lucky in that I haven't shown any evidence of ongoing headaches. It's a warning sign that we're all keeping a close eye on through.

I have a regime of facial strengthening exercises my "face-ups" to do to even out the slight lag i had developed on the left hand side of my face and a set of rehab-therapy visits with the Speech Pathology and Occupational Therapy teams.to continually re-assess my recovery. All seems to be going pretty well.   

My Drivers-licence was suspended pending medical clearance and re-testing, standard procedure for people who have have strokes, which is pretty annoying, but i agree it's better for the community.

I had a steady stream of visitors throughout my stay. Friends, family, lovers, neighbors and old friends all came to see if I was OK, all-there and to cheer me up. It made a world of difference, especially with the question "will I pop a vessel and drop dead at any moment?" ringing loudly between my ears. Tactical Baby and Triceratops Girl were really pleased to see me, and not distressed, just concerned for me. I'm really grateful for all the visitors, and love I was shown, not to mention the mound of LEGO that kept hands and mind busy.

The Occupational therapists also gave me their own kind of test too, and supervised me cooking  meal in the in-ward kitchen.

I did some scrounging in true Apocalypse mode style and dug out a couple of cans of beans, ketchup some onions, spices and even a bag of bacon from the back of the freezer.  The OT's weren't thrilled about me sharpening  all the kitchen knives, but sharpen them I did. (A sharp knife is a safe knife). and I made a pretty passable chili. 

More flavour than I'd managed to ingest in a while and I didn't set myself or the kitchen ablaze, or cut anything but onions and bacon!

Now being more or less fully mobile, I was off the daily injections, which was grand, but also meant that I was put on a more pill-based regime. So, now, daily, I take this collection of pills to: regulate my blood pressure (too high = popping), thin my blood (reducing clotting), reduce cholesterol buildup (clogs for clots to plug up on) and an acid-reflux-reducer to help me with the other pills.

I was also on some anti-hiccup medication for a while too, when suck in the bed, and I had hiccups pretty bad for the first week. Didn't help me rest or sleep, but at least I didn't have any broken bones to contend with. I was also put on  melatonin briefly as I had trouble sleeping in a busy room, full of snoring old dudes. The aggravated ranting at nurses doing meds and obs by my fellow inpatient didn't help much either, nor did my internal worry that I might have another stroke and not wake up.

How does this all relate to being Apocalypse Equipped?? Well, what hit home for me was that if it could happen to ME, it could happen to ANYBODY and were it not for rapid and advanced medical treatment, I'd have died or been crippled. Here's some statistics... via WIKI

When I arrived at Hospital, I was in my pajamas, unconscious. all I had with me as far as GEAR goes were my necklaces.

That said, I have a few gems on my necklace, to keep me from feeling too naked. Airport security LOVE ME.
 What I had with me was: Tritium marlin spike  titanium WTF wrench-and-pry-tool and my SAR moon-glow / reflective disk. And top that off with my charms: a Mjölnir.  My coyote and the brass arrowhead I wear for luck.  the rings are purely sentimental but the brass Omega reminds me I'm owned and cherished. I did feel, in the late of the night, when nurses bumped into my bed and woke me, that I was ill prepared.

At an early point in my stay, I put in a request for my EDC, and I got a pocket dump from home, and added a few more useful items to keep handy. Included in this was some paracord, my SAR Dead Ringer comb (because personal grooming is important). One of my titanium Fishbone Piranhas and a RaidOps TM-Joe made up some heft for my pocket, and a Gerber multitool added some more utility. some dental floss for good measure.

Thus equipped I rested easier, and once fully signed out, I headed home to recuperate further. I was released home into the care of Omega and Lorin, with a house-call visit from a community nurse to check up on me. We hired a shower-chair, so I could shower myself without worry of falling over.

The recovery process has been slow, and I am still wracked with fatigue, and find myself able to exert myself for only a few hours a day, before  I run out of steam and have to have a nap. This is normal, I've been told, but it's been a big adjustment for me to make.



Speaking of which, I've had some others as well. On top of some physical weakness from bedrest and lack of strenuous exercise I've been free of any other serious symptoms. A medically trivial problem that has arisen and been waived off by the various medical staff I've asked as "normal, expected and will auto-correct" was my sudden sexual performance issues. No joke, and rather distressing. Put it down to near-death stress. Still, worth mentioning. Thankfully, my partners have been very understanding, and good sports about it. Apparently, even in my diminished state I am still an adequate lover, even if I have completion issues. So there's some TMI for you all. I'm improving though, and still working at it!

Medically I am A-OK, and fully biologically functional. I have my regime of "don't have another stroke medications" to keep me going, and more appointments with the Occupational Therapists, Speech Therapists and Neuro-psych team to monitor and steer my recovery.

So, to finish up this long and fairly auto-biographical piece which I'm not used to writing ... here are some useful some early recognition tips:

Early recognition was was got me he rapid medical attention that saved my life:

Various systems have been proposed to increase recognition of stroke. Different findings are able to predict the presence or absence of stroke to different degrees. Sudden-onset face weakness, arm drift (i.e., if a person, when asked to raise both arms, involuntarily lets one arm drift downward) and abnormal speech are the findings most likely to lead to the correct identification of a case of stroke increasing the likelihood by 5.5 when at least one of these is present). Similarly, when all three of these are absent, the likelihood of stroke is significantly decreased (– likelihood ratio of 0.39).[26] While these findings are not perfect for diagnosing stroke, the fact that they can be evaluated relatively rapidly and easily make them very valuable in the acute setting.

A mnemonic to remember the warning signs of stroke is FAST (facial droop, arm weakness, speech difficulty, and time to call emergency services)

And Lastly, here's some more facts and figures. Lots of people have strokes, apparently, I don't feel lonely,  I  feel LUCKY. I'm lucky I live in  a country with excellent and affordable medical attention  (my Government recommended Private Health Insurance) covered the entirety of my $4300 9-day private room, and all medical therapies, The Ambulance Membership covered my pick-up and transit costs.


In 2013 approximately 6.9 million people had an ischemic stroke and 3.4 million people had a hemorrhagic stroke. In 2010 there were about 33 million people who had previously had a stroke and were still alive. Between 1990 and 2010 the number of strokes which occurred each year decreased by approximately 10% in the developed world and increased by 10% in the developing world. In 2013, stroke was the second most frequent cause of death after coronary artery disease, accounting for 6.4 million deaths (12% of the total). About 3.3 million deaths resulted from ischemic stroke while 3.2 million deaths resulted from hemorrhagic stroke. About half of people who have had a stroke live less than one year. Overall, two thirds of strokes occurred in those over 65 years old.

ReBlog: SBTactical – iCombat

Here’s a piece I thought might be of interest to some, that I wrote for Breach Bang & Clear. Training is a key element both for honing existing skills, but also good training requires you to try out new situations and learn new skills sets. You really want to practice as realistically as you can, but no one wants to damage their training partners. When that happens you get a lot less volunteers, and since we don’t have a Running Man style “volunteer” program and want reproducible scenarios, we turn to simulation. But we wish we could use prisoners like in the movies.

AirSoft type equipment, paintball and MILES gear have all brought different tools to the table, as have the minds behind the iCOMBAT technology and training systems. My contacts recently put me in touch with SBTactical, a veteran owned and operated business out of Santa Barbara, California. As the National Law Enforcement and Professional distributors of iCOMBAT equipment, they are 100% committed to serving those who serve.

“With over 40+ combined years of planning, resourcing, and conducting training, we are confident that we are the right team to meet your needs,” SBTactical says. SBT’s experience plus iCOMBAT’s technology leave no training question unanswered. “With SBTactical you will replicate, not simulate, the situations your officers will encounter. Every day we strive to advance your organizations training to the next level. SBTactical’s mission is to Replicate real world scenarios, reduce training costs, and maximize training time,” SBT says.

So how do they deliver?

The iCOMBAT technology is a weapon, sensor and control system. It currently offers an M4 style weapon and a Glock style weapon, to better replicate weapons common among police and military units.

Red the full article on Breach Bang & Clear, here...







and have a laugh at me getting zapped by the pain-belt here:

Home Front: Old school Cutting Practice

There are all kinds of cool-guy articles about putting lead to steel at the range, also many articles with serious-looking folks in pajamas bending arms and throwing bodies. But something I haven’t seen a lot of are action shots of the Japanese training method known as “tameshigiri“, or practice cutting. Much like ballistic gel is used to simulate how bullets react to human flesh for firearm testing, the practice of tameshigiri involves cutting practice on a realistic simulation of human flesh, without all the mess (and paperwork).

I have fifteen years of kendo (Japanese full-contact fencing) and hold a 3rd Dan grading, but even with all that my school never trained with live blades nor practiced tameshigiri. So whilst I had countless hours of swinging at and hitting my opponents, we did so in the knowledge that it was all blunt-force. Again, we were simulating combat, and simulating cutting.

I am fortunate enough to know a senior instructor of a different art, iaido, another modern Japanese martial art and sport that emphasizes being aware and capable of quickly drawing the sword and responding to a sudden attack.

But whilst its practitioners use metal blades, and at advanced levels, live blades, they don’t participate in full-contact opposed combat. Because, well, dismembering your training mates is poor form.

They do occasionally practice tameshigiri however, to test the techniques they are performing. The targets are made of wet, tightly rolled tatami mat sheets, which need to be cut correctly or they bind up or crumple, immediately demonstrating an ineffective technique.

 Read the rest here on Breach Band & Clear.

Review: Food bar comparison CLIF bar & Blue Dinosaur bar

Following on from my Bounce food nugget post a while back, We lashed out and got me some other energy foods to trail and I wanted to give you my comparison assessment.


I got a box each of the Bounce Peanut Protein Blast, the CLIF Bar Crunchy Peanut Butter and the Blue Dinosaur Ginger Nut bars. Of all the listed flavours these appealed the most, and I wanted to select flavours that were close, and that I would enjoy. No point picking identical ones that I wouldn't like, after all.



All foil wrapped, with nitrogen filling, to reduce and avoid any oxidative spoilage, the three bars weighed in at 45g for the Blue Dinosaur, 68g for the CLIF Bar and the Bounce Ball at 49g.

I covered the Bounce nuggets previously, so I wont go into them much, read them up here.



The Crunchy Peanut Butter CLIF Bar is an energy bar that was purposely designed from rolled oats, dried fruits, nuts and seeds. As such it provides energy from multiple carbohydrate sources and a blend of protein, fat and fiber blended to slow the rate of digestion to deliver sustained energy. CLIF Bars also contain a blend of vitamins and minerals reported to be important for energy and physical recovery. They give 1088kJ (260Cal) which is quite a lot, compared to the 8368Kj (2000Cal) recommended daily average for an adult male.



The CLIF bars were light in the hand, and moderately hard, but the puffed protein crisps throughout added to the lightness of the bar. It also made for easy eating, which his important to note, because jaw-fatigue is a real thing, and something I found came up with the Bounce nuggets. It was also delicious. Not too tacky, not too sweet, but favoursome and sufficiently complex to make me want to eat a couple a day. Certainly good for road-trips, hikes, or endurance events like Tough Mudder.










The Blue Dinosaur Ginger Nut Paleo Bars are a baked snack made from only 5 ingredients. With a taste similar to that of an ANZAC biscuit, with a hint of ginger to enhance its sweet, nutty flavour. With plenty of protein and good fats, the ginger nut bar will give you plenty of energy, at 865kJ (207Cal) per bar, to keep you going.

Baked at 75oC, they have very little water in them, so they are very stable, and the oils from the nuts, coconut and coconut oil prevent any bacteria from growing, these were a very soft bar which I didn't find nearly as appealing as the CLIF or the Bounce bars, but they were tasty and certainly seemed simple and appealing in a very wholesome way. I'd say these are less a survival staple and more of a road-trip and day-hike snack. They were tasty, for sure, but something about them seemed less durable and suited more to day to day snacking than disaster preparation.

So in summary, I liked all three of the bars, and each have their place, uses and desirability. I think I will preferentially re-stock up on the CLIF bars, because of the solid-but-light nature of the bar.

Review: GoST Paleo Barefoots CAYMARO Paws

This is a much delayed post, and I owe  Jörg Peitzker of GoST Paleo Barefoots a big apology for not getting it out sooner.

That said, this is my fourth pair of GoST Barefoots that I have trialled, and the second set of Barefoots with their imbedded "PAWS" traction pads. These are the CAYMARO design, with the GoST new and improved PAWS2.0 style, as my first set was really a prototype version.

 I contacted Jörg after I found that the PAWS on my Anterra's had worn off or worse worn down, to such an extend that some of the chain links had been trapped from the inside and not rotated freely as I ran.

I found that they had then worn unevenly, and had actually damaged the rings! Not impossible, but unusual, so when I told Jörg he informed me that it was indeed an issue they had seen with the early versions and he sent me out not only replacements, but a new model as the replacement too!

Check out the previous models here:

The original Paleo-Barefoots-PRONATIV Classic sole

The more advanced Paleo-Barefoots-ANTERRAClassic sole

and the Paleo-Barefoots ANTERRA PAWS sole

Made of the same "4 in 1" welded 0.55 mm gauge "1.4404" stainless steel  with a 4mm external diameter chain and an internal diameter of 2.9 mm as the PRONATIV's, and the ANTERRA's. The CAYMARO's have a slightly different lacing and tongue pattern, and I really liked it.

Rather than a 1/3 sized lacing bracket, the CAYMARO's laving runs almost 2/3 down the length of the shoes, which means you have a lot more play to adjust the fit and feel of the shoes, which given they essentially become a second skin, it allows a far greater range of customisation. I found that over extended runs (I've done several Tough Mudder events, and hundreds of km's on the track and trail, having a good fit is key to the freeing feel of the Barefoots. These are the best fitting models yet, though getting them to fit right takes a couple of moments longer than the ANTERRA or PRONATIV's it is time well spent.

The new and improved PAWS are thicker, broader, firmer and more deeply embedded in the rings, this changes the feel of the ground underfoot, mostly because of the harder beads and the more coverage, but when running on hard rocky surfaces, gravel or the like, that can actually be an advantage. They certainly still feel good on man-made surfaces like polished wood or concrete. No more slippery shopping centres!

The improvements are spot on the money, and I had expected no less from the GoST team. Keep your eyes out for their new "less like socks, more like runners" versions, the Urbans ... coming soon!