Home Front: Stabbing Lcpl Schmuckatelli

Here's a bit of fun I had a weekend or so ago. I have used polyethylene cutting boards as faux armour inserts for some time for my roleplaying and MilSim purposes. They're about the right sized and shape, are cheep, durable and stiff enough to add some realism without being either heavy, difficult to come by, or plain illegal for a Regular Aussie Bloke to have in their possession, unlike folks in other Western World nations with newly elected governments.

I've used polyethylene boards in the kitchen for a long while now, and have often marveled how they hold up to cuts, hacks and stabs. I have even on occasion, slipped one under a jumper when I've been "expecting some trouble" and helping out a friend in a possibly stabby situation, Ned Kelly style.

So to test this, I loaded up my very under-inspiring Zombie Outbreak Grunt plate carrier with one of the boards I typically use, a Legitim from Ikea, which at 500g, (1lbs2oz) and 8mm (1/4") thick, has always served me well in the kitchen.

Up against it, I pitched an assortment of blades.

1. Schrade US Army knife
2. KA-BAR Famine Tanto
3. American Kami Super Colubris
4. Boker Tomahook (front and back)
5. United Cutlery M48 Tomahawk (front and back) 
6. Ontario Black Wind sword
7. United Cutlery M48 spear 

 I loaded the cutting board into the front of the plate carrier, which I had loaded up with 10 2L bottles of water, giving it a mass of 20kg (45lbs) and suspended it on a Tough Hook, with side-supports, in the hope of mimicking a free standing human target. Hitting a board laying on a block of wood or even free standing wouldn't be a very good simulation of being stabbed, but I hoped that this set-up would, as well as giving me a penetration "bleed" effect, if anything managed to make it through the board.

Here is the video we made of the testing.



I gave each stab or thrust a "I want to do you harm" amount of effort. Taking from my 16 years of kendo I have a fairly good idea of what these impacts would have on an armored target, as well as stabbing a bunch of things over the years for the hells of it. I was pretty happy with my strikes.

Here is the board once we removed it and married it up to the footage.


The two main "bleeder" shots were the back of the M48 tomahawk, the American Kami Super Colubris and the maybe M48 spear (if it actually punched that hole of its own accord).

So, in conclusion, unless someone is coming at you with a spear, or the pointy breaching end of an axe, you will probably be able to shrug off some stabs, and certainly all the slashes that land on a cutting board under your shirt. The good thing about polyethylene is that it is heat-labile, meaning you could mold it to be more chest-shaped.

Obviously there are commercially available, professionally made and certified stab proof inserts and garments you could use, if they were legally available to you, but for my purposes, they sem to fit exactly what I need from them. Won't stop a bullet, sure, but will turn a blade wielded by someone as strong as me.

Home Front: Impact testing

I wanted to do a bit of a demonstration on the effects of some of the impact tools I have been covering of late, and throughout my reviews.

Here's the lineup:
1)Cybernetic Research Labs Tactical Pen
2)Ti2 Techliner pen
3)RaidOps MF Delta
4)RaidOps TM Joe
5)Sharp Shooter keychain




I asked a group of my hitting and hacking peers and came up with "pumpkin" as as good a target for testing as any.

I wanted a good solid target, which would offer a fleshy impact simulation, not be pulped, but also not shatter on impact. I happened to have a butternut pumpkin handy and it being winter here, wanted some with dinner.

For good repeatability of the tests, I chose a downwards punch from about chest height for each strike. I didn't put any hip into the strike, nor follow through, just a static jab type punch. For the pen type tools I used a downward stab, from the heel of the fist. I braced the pumpkin with a pencil, just to stop it rolling, and turned it for each strike to hit a fresh surface 

The CRL. Tactical Pen sunk in only to the depth of the tool tip, stopping at the body of the pen. It collected a lot of material on the way out. In fact, my pen still has pumpkin wedged into the fluting.

The Ti2 TechLiner pen sunk in further than I would have expected for a blunt tool, but it's sleek lining offered little resistance. It also cored some pumpkin, but not nearly as aggressively as the CRL pen.

The MF -Delta had a fairly shallow penetration, with the flat head giving a regular indentation and the bottle opener head giving a shallower, but jagged indentation. I wasn't surprised that the Delta didn't dig in more, but it did feel very comfortable in the hand. 

The TM -Joe dug in a surprising amount, all the way to the "jaw" of the tool, which upon reflection, shouldn't have been surprising, given the chisel-wedge shape of the teeth of this tool.  

The SharpShooter was an interesting test. I did two, one from the key-end as a flail. Again with my hand held around chest height, and the second as a pen-strike as with the CRL and Ti2 pens. 

The flail end of the SharpShooter left a very shallow, but messy set of intends, one for each key, as well as the shackle, and even one from the ring (which I accidentally had left loose, rather than around my finger as per the instructions).






The pen end of the SharpShooter was fairly disappointing, but not unexpected, mostly because of the combination of the rubber stopper and the paracord knot. It left a bit of a bruise on the skin, but no discernible penetration. 

I then started cutting up my pumpkin, and got to see the trauma dished out by each tool.

The CRT and Ti2 pens showed their depth of penetration and the tissue trauma really nicely.

The MF-Delta's shallow penetration belayed the broad spread of trauma beneath the skin, which was quite pervasive all around the penetration, to a respectable depth

The TM-Joe offered a comparable amount of trauma, but deeper and wider. This is definitely the nastier of the two tools to strike with. I shudder to consider the combined effects of skin and flesh and bone when struck by this titanium tool.


The Sharp Shooter didn't display any significant penetration, nor trauma beneath the rind of the pumpkin (which was delicious, I might add).

All in all I'd say that the RaidOps TM-Joe was the most devastating tool to make a mess of a pumpkin with, and perhaps I will move on to some meat-tests with it, like I did with the SuperHammer and KA-BAR knives ...